By M. Kotch

Much is written about the emotional process of grieving. Unfortunately, losing someone also entails tackling many practical, often mundane tasks — paperwork, dealing with debt and going through a loved one’s possessions. We all have a lot of “stuff,” and going through it brings its own unique challenges.

As you deal with the shock of losing a loved one, remember that many others have had to go through this process; they too have come out on the other side.

Here are some steps to help you begin the process of de-cluttering after someone has passed:

1.    Decide if you want to deal with it now or later. There is no right or wrong answer. Some find it easier to deal with immediately, while others suggest waiting until you are ready. Some grievers have said they just “felt” when it was time, so forget about deadlines or other people’s experiences: you will know when it’s time to begin.

2.    To hire or not to hire? A professional organizer or appraiser can be of tremendous help during your time of grief. Hiring someone can take the guesswork out of going through heirlooms and point out the value of hidden treasures, particularly when dealing with a large or valuable estate. Most importantly, a professional will remain neutral; he or she won’t be sentimentally attached to an item before estimating its value. If you decide to go it alone, remember that it’s all right to ask friends and family for opinions and support.

3.    Divide items into four categories: keep, sell, donate and throw away. Gather boxes or large plastic bags and label them according to color, number or with post-it notes.
•    Keep: Heirlooms, valuable and sentimental items should be stored in trunks or carefully sealed (clothing with moth deterrents and photos in light-proof envelopes, for example).
•    Sell: Valuable items that you wish to sell should be photographed for listings, and ready to be shipped to buyers or sellers (local vintage shops are a great first resource, while eBay and Craigslist are great Web sites to list items for sale locally, nationally and internationally).
•    Donate: Some possessions fall into the “does anyone really want this or should I throw it out?” If an item is not worth much money but valuable in some other way, consider donating it. Old books can be donated to a library or school; an old car can be donated to a charity. Note: these donations are probably tax deductible.
•    Throw Away: Trash may seem like the easiest category, but it can be the most emotionally charged. Everyday papers and items, from old receipts to coffee mugs, will often remind us of our loss and prove harder to throw away than first expected. Remember that it’s normal to have trouble throwing things out and to take matters in stages. Stop and start anytime you need to.

4.    Speak to your accountant or tax specialist. Unless you’re a financial expert, you may not be aware of the fact that donating items may qualify as a tax write-off, while the sale of expensive items may entail estate tax fees.

5.    Don’t feel guilty. Getting rid of items that were dear to a loved one does not mean you aren’t grieving or carrying him or her with you—you can be practical and sentimental at the same time. Just remember that holding on to every single possession is not a good idea and that the important things—notes, photos and of course, memories—will always be with you.

Source: Flickr.com

This entry was posted on Wednesday, January 27th, 2010 at 6:34 pm and is filed under Family & Friends. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.