The Eulogy
The Eulogy: Create a Fitting Reflection of Your Loved One
Eulogies are as varied as the individuals to whom they pay tribute. Eulogies can be reverent, inspirational, even humorous. It is an honor to be asked to offer a eulogy. You will be painting a loving picture of the deceased, weaving memories and thoughts into a speech that helps your audience to grieve and also to celebrate the person’s life.
Perfection isn’t necessary. What those in attendance will remember is your courage and your love for the one you lost. The task isn’t nearly as intimidating as it may sound if you simply let the personality and the memories of your loved one guide the voice and course of your eulogy.
Getting Started
It can be tough knowing where to begin. Pare down your memories by asking yourself, “What did I admire most about this person?” Or similarly, “What will I miss most about this person?” This will help you glean the most meaningful anecdotes from your memory bank. Ask friends and family members this same question.
Let these most endearing qualities be the common threads that connect your thoughts. Incorporate poetry, Bible verses and even song lyrics that are fitting.
Jef Benedetti of Gahanna, Ohio, included the poem “High Flight” by John Magee in his mother’s eulogy. She had been a member of the Women Airforce Service Pilots in World War II.
Humor is perfectly acceptable if it fits your loved one’s personality. If your father was an avid do-it-yourselfer who was known for biting off more than he could chew, share some of your favorite, light-hearted tales of his home improvement mishaps.
Organizing Your Thoughts
Structure your eulogy logically, putting anecdotes in chronological order. If the eulogy still sounds disconnected, try choosing a theme.
“A eulogy at my cousin’s funeral described what his job would be in heaven – he would be the chauffeur for Heaven’s new arrivals because, in life, he loved to drive people around,” said Kay Batson, of Millersport, Ohio.
Typically, you will want your eulogy to take five to ten minutes. If more than one person is giving a eulogy, compare information to avoid duplication.
Delivering the Eulogy
Type the eulogy (or at least an outline of it) on a computer and print it out using large-sized type for easy reading. Practice it several times. Nerves are natural. Drink some water before you deliver the eulogy, and if possible, have a glass of water handy. It’s okay to pause during the eulogy, take a drink and gather your emotions. Then, let your friends and family know what was truly special about your loved one.
