Support Groups
Finding the Support You Need in a Bereavement Group
Any experienced grief counselor will tell you that everyone experiences loss and grief differently and that it is important to your recovery to allow yourself to grieve in your own way. Nevertheless, there are common aspects to grief, so it can be very helpful to connect with people who have experienced grief. Finding a support group where people truly understand—at a gut level—what you are suffering, and where you can freely express your grief, can be an important step toward recovery.
“I’ve seen people in bereavement groups experience amazing healing in a very short space of time. Often, when you’re grieving, you’re in a place where you’re very ready to open up about your feelings; that can really speed the healing process,” comments Geri Davis, LMHC, a bereavement group facilitator for Hospice of the North Shore, Beverly, Mass.
The Right Group
Just as people experience grief differently, so too will the criteria they use for finding the right support group vary. In some cases, it will be important to find a group with a particular religious or ideological basis. In other instances, the key issue will be finding a group whose members are dealing with a particular kind of loss, for instance, the loss of a child or spouse or a child’s loss of a parent or sibling.
But whatever criteria you use for finding a group, there is one rule that holds universally true: A good support group should be a safe placer where you’ll find the acceptance and understanding you need to express your feelings about you loss, in your way.
“You may feel a little uncomfortable at first; this is a time when most people feel very vulnerable. But a bereavement group is not about therapy—it’s about getting the support and encouragement you need to grieve in a way that feels right. So if you don’t feel comfortable and supported pretty quickly, it’s probably not the right group for you,” Davis advises.
She goes on to suggest that’s it’s probably best to wait about six months after a devastating loss before getting into a group. By then, the initial shock has worn off and you’ll be ready to start on the road toward healing.
“Once you start talking about your grief, you can start healing and developing the skills necessary to rebuild a life,” Davis says.
Resources for Finding the Right Group
One valuable resource for finding the right support group is Bereaved Parents USA (http://www.bereavedparentsusa.org/index.htm). While the organization is centered around support and resources for bereaved parents, its site includes links to organizations offering support to people dealing with losses of all kinds, ranging from loss of an infant to loss of a loved one in combat, to the substance-related death of a friend or family member.
If it is important to you to take a faith-based approach to grief support, check with your priest, minister or rabbi for church-based support groups in your area. Another resource is Mourner’s Path (http://www.mournerspath.com/), which sponsors faith-based support sessions in locales around the country. The fee for an eight-week group is very reasonable–$75—and, according to the organization’s site, participants learn that “God has entered their lives and is healing their pain. They learn that they are not alone on their Mourner’s Path.”
